Decided to change skin. Aniwaes came across this on the net. Enjoy.
There is a factory in Northern Minnesota that makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arm. Here is a true story:
Lena was hired at the factory and she reported for her 1st day promptly at 8:00 a.m. The following day, at 8:45, there was a knock at the personnel manager's door. The foreman from the assembly line threw open the door and began to rant about his new employee, Lena. He complained that she was incredibly slow and that the entire production line was behind schedule and backing up!
The personnel manager decided he should see this for himself, so the two men marched down to the factory floor. When they got there, the line was so backed up, there were Tickle Me Elmos all over the factory floor and they were really beginning to pile up at the end of the line stood Lena, surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmos.
She had a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The two men watched in amazement as she cut a little piece of fabric, wrapped it around two marbles and began carefully to sew the little package between Elmo's legs.
The personnel manager stared for a few seconds, saw what was happening, and burst into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics, he pulled himself together and approached Lena. "I'm sorry," he said to her. Barely able to keep a straight face, he said, "I think you misunderstood the instructions given you yesterday. Your job is to give each Elmo two test tickles ..."
Little Johnny was busy doing his homework. As his mother approached she heard:
"One and one, the son-of-a-bitch is two. Two and two, the son-of-a-bitch is
four. Three and three... "
His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing math.
Johnny remarked that his teacher Ms. Clara Jones taught him. His mother was
rather upset and told him to stop the homework. The next day she approached
Ms. Jones and told her what happened.
The teacher was flabbergasted. She said that she couldn't understand why Johnny
had said what he did. Then suddenly, Ms Jones exclaimed, "Oh, I know... here in
school we say, one and one, the sum-of-which is two."
Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6'"
"But that's right!"
"Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the fucking difference?"
"That's what I said!"
